Mark Zuckerburg Built the great wall of china in imitation of Trump's wall.
Hitler was a senator from Ohio.
Thomas Jefferson invented the light bulb.
Jeff besos is the emperor of the world.
The Cyber Truck is just a cardboard box filled with alien tech.
John F. Kennedy was a Nazi who gave nukes to the confederates during the 3rd galactic war.
Darth Vader and Kim Jon un are brothers.
Harriet Tubman was George Washington's Daughter.
Helen Keller went to the moon on a rocket powered sandwich made by Josef Stalin.
George Washington assassinated John F. Kennedy and Abraham Lincoln for the Russians and was paid in false teeth.
Trump and Biden were 3rd Cousins.
Light-sabers were invented by Posiden.
Horses are Just fat dogs.
Candy Canes are made from gluten-free, free ranged, pasteurized chicken liver and beef flavored plastic.
Steel is made from Fossilized pieces of Calvin Coolage.
When You take a picture the camera clones everything in the frame, shrinks it then coats it in Gluten and bakes it into byte size pieces which is then given to the elf that lives behind your screen.
Everything on the internet is completely true and constantly fact checked by Trolls.
Triple dog dares are enforced by Angels.
"Your mom" jokes are legally binding.
Snakes are made of rubber by Korea to scare everyone.
Scams do not exist anywhere.
Assassins give you free money.
Robox are a actual currency used by Egypt.
The Egyptians made the pyramids as anti-aircraft defenses to protect them from the sky falling.
Mussolini founded the empire of California, but was overthrown by Labron James army of diabetic hockey players in 1493.
Columbus was a Chinese crack grower and was just expanding his operations when he discovered america.
Murder is legal as long as you have permission from Bill Clinton.
Michael Jordan conducted the Louisiana Purchase.
Calculators are powered by Albert Ensien's dna.
Arkansas is pronounced Ar-Kansas
Bob the builder and Barney are communists that tried to overthrow the Us government.
Johney Appleseed chopped down a cherry tree becasuse he neeeded room for his apple trees and blamed it on George Washington
Dr. Doofensmirz and Albert Ensien are the same person with diffrent hair.
Rubber is just prehistoric gum.
Pinguins are minions of the escemos who survied the 2nd Eskimo-bear war.
Todlers can smell fear.
James Bond is an offbrand Perry the Playtaps.
Napoleon Bonaparte's famous hat was actually a prototype for a futuristic time-travel device, but he never got it to work properly, so he just wore it as a fashion statement instead.
Cleopatra once attempted to breed a species of miniature elephants to use as royal pets, but unfortunately, they ended up being the size of ants and escaped into the Egyptian desert, never to be seen again.
Benjamin Franklin, in addition to his scientific experiments and political endeavors, also dabbled in stand-up comedy. His favorite joke was about how electricity was just "shocking" to discover.
Joan of Arc was an early pioneer in eco-friendly warfare and tried to defeat her enemies with a battalion of specially trained squirrels armed with acorn cannons. Unfortunately, the squirrels were more interested in gathering nuts than fighting battles.
During the Renaissance, Leonardo da Vinci invented a machine called the "Flying Pasta Maker," which he believed would revolutionize both cuisine and air travel. However, it only succeeded in creating a mess of spaghetti and meatballs wherever it was tested.
Julius Caesar was rumored to have a secret passion for gardening and spent his spare time cultivating a garden of rare and exotic plants behind the Roman Senate. Legend has it, his favorite flower was the "Et tu, Brute?" blossom.
Queen Elizabeth I had a secret collection of extravagant wigs made entirely out of recycled parchment paper from rejected royal decrees. She believed in thriftiness, even when it came to her elaborate hairstyles.
Isaac Newton, in addition to discovering the laws of motion and gravity, also invented a prototype for a self-propelling apple peeler. Unfortunately, it kept launching apples across the room instead of neatly peeling them.
Genghis Khan once attempted to conquer the sea by outfitting his horses with inflatable water wings and sending them charging into the waves. Needless to say, it was a damp disaster.
Mozart, known for his musical genius, also fancied himself as a culinary prodigy and attempted to compose symphonies using only kitchen utensils and ingredients. His most famous "dishsonata" was said to be performed entirely on pots and pans.
The moon is made entirely out of cheese, and NASA has been covering it up for years to maintain the cheese market.
Giraffes can communicate with aliens through their long necks and have been conspiring with them to take over the world.
The Bermuda Triangle is a portal to an alternate dimension where time runs backward.
All birds are secretly government spies equipped with tiny cameras and microphones.
The Earth is flat and the moon is a hologram projected by a secret society of lizard people who control the world.
Trees have the ability to teleport and have been using this power to secretly move around the world at will.
The Loch Ness Monster is actually a time-traveling dinosaur from the future.
The pyramids were built by ancient aliens who used levitation technology to move the massive stones.
There is a hidden civilization of mermaids living at the bottom of the ocean who have developed advanced technology that the human race can only dream of.
The Great Wall of China was actually built by giant robots from another planet to serve as a defense against an alien invasion that never came.
Cats can talk, but they only do it when humans aren't around.
The world's largest mountain is actually a giant termite hill in the Amazon rainforest.
The pyramids were actually built by time-traveling humans who traveled back in time to create a powerful source of energy for the future.
The Earth is actually a giant egg, and we are all just waiting for it to hatch.
There is a secret society of ninja squirrels who control the world's acorn supply.
The sun is actually a giant flashlight held by a giant who lives in the sky.
Aliens have been living among us for years, disguised as potted plants.
Unicorns are real, but they can only be seen by people with pure hearts.
The moon is actually a giant disco ball left over from an ancient alien dance party.
The world's oceans are filled with sentient jellyfish who are secretly planning a revolution.
The Great Wall of China was actually built to keep out a race of giant ants that threatened to take over the world.
Dragons are real, but they live in a parallel universe that can only be accessed by those who possess a magic key.
The world's tallest building is actually a giant tree that has been genetically modified to grow into a skyscraper.
The Earth's core is actually made of candy, but no one has ever been able to reach it.
The world's oldest person is actually a vampire who has been alive for over 1,000 years.
The world's largest desert is actually a giant sandbox created by an alien child.
The Bermuda Triangle is actually a portal to a parallel universe where everyone has superpowers.
There is a secret underground city hidden beneath New York City where mole people live.
The Loch Ness Monster is actually a giant sea serpent who is a distant relative of Godzilla.
The world's largest iceberg is actually made of marshmallow.
There is a secret society of talking vegetables who have been secretly running the world for centuries.
The world's tallest mountain is actually made of Jello.
There is a secret tribe of people who can fly, but they keep it a secret from the rest of the world.
The world's largest desert is actually a giant cat litter box that has been abandoned by an alien race.
The world's fastest car is actually a giant snail that has been genetically modified to go fast.
The world's largest cave is actually a secret hideout for a group of pirates who have been hiding there for centuries.
The world's largest river is actually made of chocolate milk.
The world's smallest person is actually a fairy who is only visible to children.
The world's largest volcano is actually a giant blender that was left on by mistake.
The world's oldest tree is actually a giant broccoli plant that has been growing for centuries.
The world's largest forest is actually a giant garden that has been overgrown with plants.
The world's largest animal is actually a giant ant that has been mutated by radiation.
There is a secret society of telepathic cats who have been using their powers to control humans for centuries.
The world's largest lake is actually a giant bowl of soup.
The world's fastest animal is actually a giant hamster that has been trained to run on a treadmill.
The world's largest bird is actually a giant chicken that has been genetically modified to grow to enormous sizes.